Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
So squirting runs in the family.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
