all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
