So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
We named our party play list daddy issues
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
