dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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