the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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