No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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