Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
