Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
