She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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