For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
