you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
