He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
