I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
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