# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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