East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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