your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
