Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
