Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
