If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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