So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
