I am in a vortex of obligation.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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