woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
