why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
