I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
