i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Randomize
