So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
