Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
