4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
More tranny stories later!
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize