I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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