we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
