i just had sex bonerless
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Randomize
