If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
