Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
