he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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