who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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