everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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