Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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