if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
