omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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