New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
sex in a hospital.. check
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
