So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
