when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
