This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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