I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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