to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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