So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
