I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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