More tranny stories later!
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
