I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
