what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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