Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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