But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
