Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
