Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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