OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
